So here I am the day after my
would-be chemo treatment… it’s day 22 post drip, the day I have not had the
pleasure of experiencing since I started chemo in June! Each day now I get to look forward to feeling
better than the day before, and better than I have since before my surgery in
April!! I’m not sure I even have words
to express how amazing that realization is!
I’m downright giddy! Lookout world!!
Of course I’d be lying if I didn’t
admit there was some anxiety mixed in with my happiness - there's something a
little scary about being done with chemo; the thought of not going in and
actively killing any possible lurking cells every three weeks... there is a bit
of a feeling of walking away with my fingers crossed and a great need to trust
– my body, the doctors, statistics, the universe. Not to mention not having chemo in front of
me to be preparing for and actively thinking about has meant I’ve had time to
sort of sit back and look at the big picture again: I’m fighting breast cancer.
It was invasive and aggressive and inside me.
It’s scary business.
I’m feeling strong and positive
though! Indeed physically stronger than
I have in months, and I’m doing my work emotionally and spiritually as
well. Trust is huge, continuing to feel
the unending and awe-inspiring love and support of others is huge, slowly navigating
my re-entrance into “real life” is huge… I feel a bit like I’ve been living in
a cave or on another planet for the last 6 months, so everything’s just a bit
foreign seeming.
Radiation starts next week… I’m a
bit nervous even though everyone assures me it’s nothing compared to
chemo. The word on the street is that it
might wipe me out, this effect is cumulative, but being young and active should
make it easier in general. We’ll see.
Our big non cancer treatment news
is that we’ve acquired a goldendoodle “puppy”!:) Griffin is 18 months old, well trained by his
previous owner, rather large but super cute, and gets us out walking and
laughing and throwing the ball for hours a day… he’s full of love and is great
at bringing happy energy to his surroundings!:)
Peace and love...
